Whispers of a Foolish Heart

I have come so far along this path
The road beyond beckons
But I can only walk so far,
Before my trembling heart needs to rest.

I have lived centuries in a year
And lifetimes in a day
What more do you want of me?
Silly petulant soul
How can you be so stubborn?
Stop resisting...the world will not lose you
You will only have lost yourself.

But tell me Dear Stranger,
How can I calm this ghoul within?
This childish display of selfhood
Where there is no Self I can claim
And myself I cannot detain...
Till one day
Deranged and Deadly
I will turn on myself
And give in.

Caught

Caught like a dream within a dream

I sit in this enchanted forest

Of my own making.

Basking in the clear blue sunshine

Looking out on these sparkling waters

I dream.



I've been here for a while now,

Glowing, like a sphere of light,

Nothing can touch me

No one can hurt me,

In this dream like creation

Of my own making.



So why is it that the bees buzzing,

The flowers blooming

And the quaint grass bearing our imprint

Reminds me of the chains

Rattling at my ankles

Gleaming, stinging

Unlike this ethereal haven

Of my own making?

Parents In Hate (or is that Love)!!

It really seems to be a horrible fight this time...The fight of a life time. Glasses shattered, furniture overturned -- it's like a true war raging on and on. I can't even see where this going to end...The end just isn't visible.

So far both parties have been  getting rapidly exhausted. They had worked up the anger quite fast actually...it started as a minor disagreement, but became a full out war in about twenty minutes...twenty minutes is all it takes for happy smiles to turn grumpy and a shouting match to ensue.

Welcome to MY WORLD.

I really cannot fathom how I'm going to move forward with my life. And it's such a crucial time for me right now...and I really need them. But how can I turn to the key people in my life when they seem to be frozen in a moment of passionate anger?

My boss -- I can still recall the look of absolute envy on his face when he --  'informed' me that I am being given a promotion. Along with added responsibilities I am being given a new division to man -- but in another city. It's either-accept-it-or-forget-any-promotion kind of thing. Naturally, after weaseling my way out of such offers for the last three years, this time around I just can't figure out what to do.

That was 4 days ago. I have just one more night to think it over before I have to give my boss a call and let him know if I am sailing this ship, or dunking my entire future.

I usually turn to my parents for these kind of things...since they've sheltered me for the last I don't know how many years of my life...there's no reason to take away this pleasure from them now...that's my logic.

But this time, I was scared of telling them...I was worried for me and for them. It was another city, a new chapter in my life, am I even ready to take this step? But if I give up now, will I ever learn to live my life the way I want to? Too many pressing thoughts...and in the middle of it, my parents go and have a fight.

I cannot console Mum enough and I cannot make Dad see reason. They are caught up in a world of their own...and they expect me to play nice. Well how can I? Worse still, I keep thinking as I watch another glass break -- what if this happens and I am not here to keep the house from breaking apart?

What happens when Mum gets one of her migraines and is unable to lift her head even for a sip of water?

I have been thinking, thinking and I am getting nowhere. Sometimes I get really pissed, but they are my parents and I love them to death. But seriously? 

Why do parents play adults when it comes to their kids, and become hissy children when it comes to each other?

God, will I become like that too?!!

Well, que sara sara...I think I hear things cooling down a little...the noises have turned into muffled groans and moans...Whoa! What happened?

Nothing much -- they are making up. Mum has her migraine and Dad is getting her a glass of water, holding her head up and urging her to take a sip. In his countenance, I see all the love that I know my Dad has for Mum. The love that has kept them together for thirty odd years. I am worried Mum will push the glass away, she tries to put up a fight...but the soothing words from Dad have melted her...and the headache is really the greater nuisance right now. So she takes a sip, and rests her head on Dad's shoulder.

That's it. It will go back to normal now. I was just worried for nothing.

As long as they have each other -- they'll do just fine...I smile as I take my cell phone to the next room to call my boss.

After Intermission Love

He was the only heir to a multinational business. She, a mere secretary. He was supposed to provide and raise the next generation of mercenaries. It wasn't in his nature...but it was in his blood. And she was a sweet thing who only wanted the best for him.

And so when the order came to be the family man, she left his side to raise her own.

Now his sons have taken over. And her daughter only needs her to rest.

They are no longer the same -- her bell like laughter sounds a little subdued to his straining ears. And his smile has lost a little of its sparkle in her dull grey eyes.

But now they can love and live the way they always wanted to -- wrapped and cocooned in each other...

Their love bloomed to fruition after the Intermission. 

Thoughts Of A Wisened Fool

There'll be days when the sun won't shine
When you'll long for the russet sky
Only to be claimed by the moonless night.

Days when your heart will feel
Like the plague ridden rats have been let loose
Scratching, Gripping, Crippling --
Chewing you in -- Spitting you out.

And yet, Fool that you are,
You will seek warm company
For those days when the coffee feels too bitter --
And the walls too bleak,
As you dream of your future
And think of nothing at all.

But no one told you
And yet you knew
That there'll be days when the
Sun will shine so bright
The birds will harp till you smile
And the rain swept soil will smell sweet again --
And within your heart you'll know
Life will be worth living again.